Book Review: Ryan's Bed by Tijan

Title: Ryan's Bed

Author: Tijan
Release Date: January 22, 2018
Publisher: Self-Published
Pages: 250
Format: eARC
Source: Author/Publicist - Nina Bocci
Age Group: Adult
Genre: Contemporary

          

I crawled into Ryan Jensen’s bed that first night by accident.

I barely knew him. I thought it was his sister’s bed—her room. It took seconds to realize my error, and I should've left...

I didn’t.

I didn’t jump out.

I didn’t get embarrassed.

I relaxed.

And that night, in that moment, it was the only thing I craved.

I asked to stay. He let me, and I slept.

The truth? I never wanted to leave his bed. If I could've stayed forever, I would have.

He became my sanctuary.

Because—four hours earlier—my twin sister killed herself.

Ryan's Bed had me on an emotional roller coaster. I first found out about this book by the lovely publicist, Nina. When I received that first email with the synopsis for Ryan’s bed, I knew I had to get my hands on it and read it ASAP! Something about it caught my eye and knew it would be a book that would stay with me forever. And I was right. 

I have witnessed firsthand the devastation and heartache that loved ones go through when someone they know commits suicide. I’ve had two very close family members and one friend pass away because they saw no end to their pain. The pain and emotional toll that it leaves on their loved ones is unimaginable. You have so many questions, yet you have no answers The worst part is that you may never know why they did it.  So, this book hits close to home.

When I first started reading, I’m going to admit, I was a bit confused and lost. The story starts when Mac goes into Ryan’s bed. Then you get little flashbacks, or I should say, Mac tells us about the night she find her twin sister, Willow, lying in a pool of her own blood. Mac then takes us through her journey of acceptance and grief. We learn that we can't do it alone. We need help to deal with the loss and those unanswered questions. It’s not good to keep them bottled up. We need to release them in order to heal and move on.

I loved Max's character and I also love Willow's. She was a shining star who sadly, was slowly dying out from the inside.

The book is set and high school, so I figured it must be young adult but when I got to that final steamy sex scene, it didn't feel like it anymore. So because of that and the strong subject matter, I think this book is for the more mature young adults. 

Like I was saying before, there were times where I was a bit confused and lost. But then there came a time that everything just fell into place, and I realized what the author was doing. She was sharing Max recovery and healing with us. It’s not something that can be done overnight or buy one or two therapy sessions. It’s something that takes time and people surrounding you that care about you. The very last sentence of the story completely shocked me. I did not see that coming. Yet it was completely perfect. I am not going into details, but the ending is a shocker.